From Anais Nin's "Fire" diary-

"Walking home and thinking, in my book I can ordain, rule, walk, laugh, shout, do acts of violence, kill. I am creator and king. This same will applied to life, kills one. All creators are unhappy in life. All creators are absolutists. Tired of struggling against the limitations of life. In art none."


I am actually quite happy in life, so I disagree somewhat with the line "All creators are unhappy in life." (I agree complete with all the rest.) Although I should say when I am un-happiest is when I am in my creative state and the disconnect between that world and the real world is so vastly noticeable and it's impossible not to compare and contrast. We are forced to live as two. So, we do. And that's that.

Nijinsky as an economist

Finally I got my hands on Nijinsky's diary. Last night long after I put down the book I was not able to silence my own thoughts provoked by his writing. It had a lot to do with questioning pondering my own "sanity" but this is not the forum for such questions and musing.

This however is the right forum to share what I love and at times make absurd connection I personally find to not be so absurd.

In the light of today's economic climate I found this particular thought of Nijinsky fantastic, brilliant and true-



...I know what is needed to astonish an audience, and therefore I am sure to succeed. Do you want to bet that I will have millions? I want to have millions in order to make the Stock Exchange crash. I want to ruin the Stock Exchange. I hate the Stock Exchange. The Stock Exchange is a brothel. I am not a brothel. I am life, and life is love for people. The Stock Exchange is death. The Stock Exchange robs poor people, who bring all the money they have in order to increase it, in the hope of achieving their goals in life. I love the poor and will therefore gamble on the Stock Exchange in order to beat the stockbrokers. Stockbrokers are all men who gamble on the Stock Exchange with vast sums. Vast sums are death, and therefore sums are not God.

Vincent (Van Gogh) to Theo-

Not that I'm comparing myself to Jesus Christ by any means, I still enjoyed this sentiment-

"Christ was so infinitely great because no furniture or any other stupid accessories ever stood in his way."


I don't own any furniture, seriously.

the human question

"Each day I believe less and less in the social question, and in the political question, and in the moral question, and in all the other questions that people have invented in order that they shall not have to face resolutely the only real question that exists- the human question. So long as we are not facing this question, all that we are now doing is simply making noise so that we shall not hear it."

Miguel de Unamuno




"As to the drama which informs these works, it has nothing to do with the individual versus society, nothing to do with the 'conquest of bread,' nor has it even ultimately to do with the conflict between good and evil. It has to do with freedom. For not a line could have been written by the men I have in mind if man had ever known freedom or even what is meant by it. Here truth and freedom are synonymous. In these works the drama begins only when man voluntarily opens his eyes. This act, the sole one which may be said to have heroic significance, displaces all the sound and fury of historical substance. Outward bound, man is at last able to look inward with grace and certitude. No longer looking at life from the world plane, man ceases to be the victim of chances or circumstance: he "elects" to follow his vision, to become one with the imagination. From this moment on he begins to travel; all previous voyages were but circumnavigation."

Henry Miller

A small collection of contemporary painters I like-


Steve Kim



James Jean



Adam Scott



Asgar/Gabriel



Josh Keyes

"Wendy and Lucy"

There's "Marley and Me" then there's "Wendy and Lucy." Guess which one does better at the box office? Oh America if I wasn't so excited about this coming Tuesday, I'd have a word or two with you.

Kazuo Ohno

Something about the Butoh style of dancing makes it so familiar and homey, for me. It's absolutely beautiful. Would love to see a performance one day.

Butoh is the collective name for a diverse range of activities, techniques and motivations for dance, performance, or movement inspired by the Ankoku-Butoh movement. It typically involves playful and grotesque imagery, taboo topics, extreme or absurd environments, and is traditionally "performed" in white-body makeup with slow hyper-controlled motion, with or without an audience. But there is no set style, and it may be purely conceptual with no movement at all. Its origins have been attributed to Japanese dance legends Tatsumi Hijikata and Kazuo Ohno.

"When We Are Children"

What my work space looks like right now. Using two walls. All the paper has a drawing on it, lightly "sketched," to be darkened in later and some will get a little bit of color in parts.

I'm currently working on 3 different mini-series (the Crown Princess and the chamber maid/Henry, June... and Anais/Eli and Oskar)that all fall under one bigger series "When We Are Children". Feeling very good about these.

"turned my head away from the noise..."

Thank you Lisa Hannigan for the reminder-

go Korea!

I've come across some really smart and well done stencil/graffiti art popping up in Korea from various sites and blogs. This one is pretty damn sweet. Seen on the wall of the painting department at Hongik University (one of the most prestigious art/design school) in Korea. It's so simple but says a lot, from stereotypes (the smart Asian kid) to breaking taboos and traditions (your Korean kid wants to be a what???) Being an artist is hard, being a Korean artist may be even a tad bit harder. Kudos to those that understand, advocate and spread the visibility of this population. Also parents, if your kid wants a brush, give the damn kid a brush!

tire swings

Something else I came across while collecting references on-line, and I'm thinking how come I never knew about these???

When I have kids I'm so getting these for myself them.

Here's a dragon and a motorcycle (prefer the animals personally.) I've also ran across elephants, giraffes, horses, and more. I want a herd of them in my backyard.

colors and the kids

I was collecting reference pictures for my drawings and listening to a live Cat Power recording. So appropriately the song "Colors and the Kids" came on. I had heard this song before but it never really grabbed me, until that moment. It was so perfect and I realized yes perfection comes with a price, that price being Beauty.




It's so hard to go in the city
'Cause you wanna say hello to everybody
It's so hard to go into the city
'Cause you wanna say hey I love you to everybody
When we were teenagers we wanted to be the sky
Now all we wanna do is go to red places
And try to stay outta hell

It must be the colors
And the kids
That keep me alive
'Cause the music is boring me to death

it must just be the colors
And it must just be the kids
That keep me alive on this January night.

we meet at the dark end of the street...

What do all of these posts have in common?

This-
At the dark end of the street
That is where we always meet
Hiding in shadows where we don't belong...
You and me

from "The Books in My Life"

My encounters with books I regard very much as my encounters with other phenomena of life or thought. All encounters are configurate, not isolate. In this sense, and in this sense only, books are as much a part of life as trees, stars or dung. I have no reverence for them per se. Nor do I put authors in any special, privileged category. If I defend them now and then- as a class- it is because I believe that, in our society at least, they have never achieved the status and the consideration they merit...

I am rediscovering Henry Miller and remembering his genius. I love him for his honesty, for his humility, for his nature and for following it. I love it because he will not call himself a Writer, but he will call himself Human. This common thread too is what I believe in. Before we are anything else we happen to be, we are human. He celebrates this, he devours it and bathes in it. The good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful, the harsh, the pornographic, the romantic, the dirt, the Heaven, the Hell, the whore, the Virgin, Brooklyn, Paris, filth, cheap wine and smoky cafes to Big Sur sunsets. He experiences it, so he writes it.


I am on the side of revelation, if not always on the side of beauty, truth, wisdom, harmony, and ever-evolving perfection.

Let the Right One In

There are no words to describe the way my heart felt, beat, trembled.

This film is the epitome of beauty, and quite possible the epitome of my personal beliefs. To see your own heart and dreams played out in front of you, words written, spoken, ideas relayed, scenes played, imagined by someone other than you. Is there anything more powerful? More touching and reassuring?

Tears could flow freely when I think of my gratitude for this. There is understanding.

Innocence. Childhood- Intimacy exists here. Honesty lives there. Children- Love is all they are. Truth is all they know.

We learn from them. We must. Let's not insist we are the teachers, let us be humble, let us be curious, let us thirst for innocence lost but can be found.