Henry Miller to Anais Nin-

It is your weakness, if I may say so delicately, to lose faith at the wrong moment. I beg you, be firm. Part of the act of creating is in discovering your own kind. They are everywhere. But don't look for them in the wrong places.

Anais, Anais, Anais

"When you live closely to individual dramas you marvel that we do not have continuous war, knowing what nightmares human beings conceal, what secret obsessions and hidden cruelties.

I felt I had not shared in the hatreds, angers, and love of destruction, but that I would share in the punishment. But I knew the origin of war, which was in each of us, and I knew that our concept of hero was outdated, that the modern hero was the one who would master his own neurosis so that it would not become universal, who would struggle with his myths, who would know that he himself created them, who would enter the labyrinth and fight the monster. This monster who sleeps at the bottom of his own brain."

Sleepless in Seattle

"Ordinary life does not interest me. I seek only the high moments. I am in accord with the surrealists, searching for the marvelous.
I want to be a writer who reminds others that these moments exist; I want to prove that there is infinite space, infinite meaning, infinite dimension.
But I am not always in what I call a state of grace. I have days of illuminations and fevers. I have days when the music in my head stops. Then I mend socks, prune trees, can fruits, polish furniture. But while I am doing this I feel I am not living."

-from Diary of Anais Nin Volume I

Anais Nin at 105

Tonight at the Hammer Museum there was a talk honoring Anaϊs Nin, the writer who documented culture, artists, and her own emotional journey in a daily diary started at the age of eleven. Featuring reflections by those who knew Nin personally: electronic music pioneer Bebe Barron; writer Deena Metzger; architect Eric Lloyd Wright; and founder of the Center of Autobiographic Studies, Tristine Rainer. (from Hammer Museum page)

I will admit when it comes to her, I am quite naive and unfamiliar(which was proven to me especially after tonight.) I have only read Henry and June which I thought was somewhat naive of a writing (though the nature of it- diary of a woman in love, lends to it.) I've done a bit of research to fill my curiosity so I knew bits and pieces about her. With this said, I am so glad that I went to this event because I returned with a deeper understanding of her, a legitimate curiosity of her own individual genius, writings, and life.

This entry certainly I know will not do the night or Anais justice, what was said, what was learned, the touching moments, the laughs, the lessons, the dream that should never die. What I took from it I feel is in my heart, and it seems impossible to write it all down in a little blog entry. My next discovering Anais step is to read Cities of the Interior then also start to build my Anais diary collection and read them whenever I need them.

Tonight, two speakers stood out for me, and I would not hesitate to assume for everyone else there as well.

First was Tristine Rainer. She spoke mainly about how Anais understood and valued people, the human relationships. Also what she finished with was very poignant. She spoke of how if Anais was still alive she would hope that in this material driven, culturally starved world, the artists will remember and bring sensitivity, hope and beauty into it and wait until the rest of the society is ready again. Couple quotes I wrote down-
"she could intuit the balance of your checkbook" (referring to how generous she was with her money)
"she knew when you couldn't handle the truth. and she knew when you could handle the truth."
"she would say- it's your responsibility to deal with your neurosis."

The second was Deena Metzger. Who left quite an impression to be an incredible woman herself. She pointed out that someone who lives her private life in the public, is bound to have another life even behind that. She made such a great point that perhaps the reason that Anais was so beautiful (and worked at it) and flamboyant was because she had to be in order to be noticed because she was a woman and it was a time when women could not even dream about being a writer. She had to invent herself in other ways in order to bring attention to her talent, her passion, her words. Also another reason though was because Anais recognized the intelligence of beauty. She wanted to know it, connect to it, and she was devoted to it because of it. I really loved what Anais' said to Deena when she was having difficulty writing- "it's simple. You begin with a dream and you end with a dream. You just fill in the middle."


Anais Nin website

Deena Metzger website

Tristine Rainer website