Tonight at the Hammer Museum there was a talk honoring Anaϊs Nin, the writer who documented culture, artists, and her own emotional journey in a daily diary started at the age of eleven. Featuring reflections by those who knew Nin personally: electronic music pioneer Bebe Barron; writer Deena Metzger; architect Eric Lloyd Wright; and founder of the Center of Autobiographic Studies, Tristine Rainer. (from Hammer Museum page)
I will admit when it comes to her, I am quite naive and unfamiliar(which was proven to me especially after tonight.) I have only read Henry and June which I thought was somewhat naive of a writing (though the nature of it- diary of a woman in love, lends to it.) I've done a bit of research to fill my curiosity so I knew bits and pieces about her. With this said, I am so glad that I went to this event because I returned with a deeper understanding of her, a legitimate curiosity of her own individual genius, writings, and life.
This entry certainly I know will not do the night or Anais justice, what was said, what was learned, the touching moments, the laughs, the lessons, the dream that should never die. What I took from it I feel is in my heart, and it seems impossible to write it all down in a little blog entry. My next discovering Anais step is to read Cities of the Interior then also start to build my Anais diary collection and read them whenever I need them.
Tonight, two speakers stood out for me, and I would not hesitate to assume for everyone else there as well.
First was Tristine Rainer. She spoke mainly about how Anais understood and valued people, the human relationships. Also what she finished with was very poignant. She spoke of how if Anais was still alive she would hope that in this material driven, culturally starved world, the artists will remember and bring sensitivity, hope and beauty into it and wait until the rest of the society is ready again. Couple quotes I wrote down- "she could intuit the balance of your checkbook" (referring to how generous she was with her money) "she knew when you couldn't handle the truth. and she knew when you could handle the truth." "she would say- it's your responsibility to deal with your neurosis."
The second was Deena Metzger. Who left quite an impression to be an incredible woman herself. She pointed out that someone who lives her private life in the public, is bound to have another life even behind that. She made such a great point that perhaps the reason that Anais was so beautiful (and worked at it) and flamboyant was because she had to be in order to be noticed because she was a woman and it was a time when women could not even dream about being a writer. She had to invent herself in other ways in order to bring attention to her talent, her passion, her words. Also another reason though was because Anais recognized the intelligence of beauty. She wanted to know it, connect to it, and she was devoted to it because of it. I really loved what Anais' said to Deena when she was having difficulty writing- "it's simple. You begin with a dream and you end with a dream. You just fill in the middle."
"There are moments when one has to choose between living one's own life, fully, entirely, completely-or dragging out some false, shallow, degrading existence that the world in its hypocrisy demands."
I was compelled to write a sort of an essay after somewhat randomly contemplating the relationship of Henry Miller, Anais Nin, and June Miller tonight. Then watching this clip from the movie "Henry and June" and especially hearing the lines "You just want experience. You're a writer. You make love to whatever you need" got me in that special place and made me want to touch upon a subject I often ponder around and about-
This is a very powerful scene from the movie “Henry and June," the point in which their respectably established roles all at once are played out, stripped, swapped, dropped, exposed, switched, regained, etc, etc. Everyone is honest, lying, the victim, the manipulator, and all of these conflicting emotions are actually being felt genuinely. How is this possible? The only answer is that it just seems to be the nature of the artist and the muse relationship.
Artist and muse dynamic has always been something I’ve been intrigued by. It is an intricate and delicate relationship that never is simply what it seems to be, what it ought to be- one that inspires and one that is inspired, then both benefit, grow, and compliment one another with the most beautiful and satisfying results (consistently and continuously) may it be a piece of art work, song, poem, or a book.
The lines often are blurred. The role, also. Is it that the artist takes because he/she is in power and the muse gives because he/she gives up power. Or the artist relays because he/she is powerless while the muse is powerful and controls. Could it ever be equal? A partnership? As with most things in life balance seems to be the most difficult thing to find in this relationship. And when a product (painting, song, poem, or story) is presented is it to satisfy only the artist, only the muse, ideally both but how easily is this achieved? Is it possible? The artist is selfish to portray and steal from the muse what he/she only wishes to while the muse is vain and self-important expecting to be portrayed as his/her fantasy self. For both to be satisfied the process seems masturbatory for both parties and if both are dissatisfied, completely volatile and destructive and even worse, wasteful.
Ultimately I believe that since it is the artist who has the creative power with it, also holds the responsibility. But the artist temperament often gives little room for maintaining full control. Is it then always one the master and the other the slave where neither ever stays as one and the role changes without clear boundaries that can ever be set? At any moment the power can shift, there never seems to be stability. But this may be what drives it. Those that create and those that want to be at the heart of it, perhaps can not exist in stability or wish to.
The relationships of Henry, Anais, and June is especially interesting and telling of the confusing nature of the artist-muse relationship because the two artists (writers) perceive the same muse, June, in two very different perspectives which lead to a creation of two very different literary characters. All the while Henry and Anais also are powerless to June under different circumstances leading up to and after the creative process. June's expectations and needs too vary for the two. And through out it all there are no clear boundaries or sensibility in the dynamic that at times is explosive creatively and beautifully while at other times explosive in the ugliest ways.
Recommended reads-
Tropic of Cancer Henry Miller Henry and June Anais Nin
Michelle Jane Lee’s art is minimalist in form yet muscular in content. There is a complexity, density; to put it simply, there is a lot of heart in her often times sparse drawings and paintings.
She is about going back to the moment of childhood possibility before our imaginations become impoverished and our options seemingly circumscribed. Her work reminds us that things could be different, if only we are brave enough to embrace the free fall, letting go of all of our prosthetics that keep us from realizing our freedom.
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